The Body is the Shell That Houses the Real You. 9 Important Internal Qualities for Personal Self-Growth.

Fill the inside and the outside will glow...

Fill the inside and the outside will glow…

If the body is the shell that houses who we truly are than we need to think about what needs to be happening inside so that we feel satisfied, happy and evolved.

Here are some attributes to develop internally to boost self-esteem:

1. Do I do the right thing so that when I put my head on my pillow, I know I have done all I can?

2. Do you understand yourself and share with others what you need?

3, Do you have a job that makes you feel challenged?

4. Are you kind, loving and helpful to others?

5. Do you practice self-care?

Find out what other traits that will increase your self-esteem inside and out….>>>

When Loving Your Body is Not Enough>>>

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Your Body Is More Than Something To Look At! Body Appreciation, Movement & Body Confidence Therapy, Ilissa Banhazl, MFT Rancho Cucamonga

Get Up and Dance!

Get Up and Dance!

Start moving! Dance, walk, skip, jump, run, STRETCH! Not to burn calories or to achieve a certain body type but simply to feel good and free. Turn up your music and dance.

Body movement makes you feel confident and physically strong rather than immobilized and anxious. You’ll walk taller after you stretch and dance. You’ll have more energy and sleep better.

Your mood will improve if you move. Natural endorphins are released that will elevate your mood.

So get off that couch, turn up the music and dance! I do!

More about Body Image at my website>>>

Read about the connection between eating disorders and movement

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“We Want To Give This Marriage One Last Chance”, 8 Things We Will Address- Counseling Ilissa Banhazl, MFT Covina

Is this your last chance?

Is this your last chance?

Most couples come to see me when their relationship is on its last leg. They say, “We’ve come to see if we can save our marriage/relationship”.

Some couples come in when they hit a bump in the road and need some skills to work through topics and resolve them. That’s probably better than waiting until you’re considering splitting up.

7 Things we will take a look at in counseling….

1. Communication

2. Finances

3, Family stresses

4. Extended family relationships

5. Negativity

6. Personal and mutual goals

7. Mental and physical issues

8. Parenting

Do you think your relationship/marriage can be saved?

Do you have children who deserve to have their family intact?

I suggest you try one more time. Many couples turn things around by simply beginning to share their truths. Relationships that feel tenuous can become safe and intimate. Is this something you desire?

Talk to your partner and suggest you try a couple sessions of counseling to see if your marriage can be saved!

Contact marriage and family therapist, Ilissa Banhazl in Glendora at 626-335-0903.

Read more about relationship counseling at my website>>>

What happy couples say>>>

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So How’s It Going? Need Someone To Talk To? 9 Potential Problems For Kids and Families… Ilissa Banhazl, MFT La Verne

Getting ready for schoolSo how’s it going for you and your family? The summer is coming to an end and school has started. Schedules have changed, lunches need to be packed and homework needs to be completed. Kids need rides to activities after school. Bedtime is structured. Is it more hectic than during the summer? Do your kids seemed stressed? Are you?

How is your child adjusting back into school? Any issues with…

1. Teachers

2. Bullies

3. Friends

4. Health

5. Academics/Homework

6. Siblings

7. Activities

8. Divorce

9. Loss

The best way to help a child who is acting out or seems angry, depressed and/or anxious is to participate in family therapy. This way everything gets to be said with the support of the therapist and everyone in the room is on the same page.

Realize that your child’s acting out is giving you information into their world. Let discipline go for a moment, within limits of course. Kids have a lot of pressure, different, but just like adults do. The best way to help a child is in the context of his or her family. Learn new ways to interact and communicate with one another. Give your child a voice.

Read more about family counseling at my website>>>

Read about Family Counseling, children and therapy>>>

 

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Your Happiness Depends On YOU! 4 People Who Affect You… Ilissa Banhazl, MFT Glendora

What will it take to make you happy?

What will it take to make you happy?

We can blame a lot of people and events for our unhappiness and we’d probably be right in understanding where some of our struggles originated. However, if you go no further than blaming others; like your

1. Parents

2. Boss

3. Friends

4. Siblings

Then chances are you will stay stuck feeling unhappy.  Once you have an awareness of yourself and the positive changes you want to make; you can begin to move away from people and thoughts that hold you back.

No one can create your life except you. Are you brave enough to take responsibility for your own happiness?

Get out a pad and make a list of your goals in order of priority. Then create a plan and start moving forward in your life….

Need some therapy to get you started? (626) 335-0903

Read more about counseling at my website…

Read how to actually change your brain…. (Psychology Today)

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Eating Disorders & People Pleasers. Link to an Interactive Mediation Exercise- 4 Steps, Ilissa Banhazl, MFT La Verne, CA

image when i recover wordsMost times people who have an eating disorder tend to be “people pleasers” and this is one of their greatest obstacles to recovery and healthy self-esteem.

For various reasons people learn to survive by pleasing others, not breaking the rules and being a good girl or boy. This behavior was most likely a necessary coping skill that worked for you in your past.

However, when you can learn to “please yourself” which means to listen to your inner voice and make decisions that best suit you; you will reduce your anxiety and create space to focus on your own self-care.

I am known for telling my patients, “Who gives a SH… what anyone else thinks!! Which usually brings on a laugh and an exclamation of imagined freedom!!! I live it and I say it and I can teach it.

I am an eating disorder therapist. I can help you stop being a “people pleaser” (even if you don’t have an eating disorder) and start thinking for yourself…

(626) 335-0903 If you want help with your “people pleasing”.

Read more about eating disorder thinking>>>>

Follow this link to an interactive meditation exercise. Learn to detach from others in your mind…

  Credit Image (WhenIRecover.com)

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Eating Disorder- What Does That Really Mean? Ilissa Banhazl, MFT, Rancho Cucamonga, CA

Focus on healthy eating as a way of life

Focus on healthy eating as a way of life

So someone, (your friend, family member, therapist or doctor) has diagnosed you with an eating disorder. That sounds scary!

What does it mean?

1. It means you have hope to become a normal eater and find happiness and peace of mind.

2. It means you have suffered some trauma or situation that has caused you to use your eating as a coping skill. It doesn’t matter if you’re eating too little or too much. You need to replace that coping skill with a healthier one.

3. It means you need to improve your self-esteem and create a stronger sense of self.

4. It means that you need to use your voice to communicate and set boundaries for yourself.

5. It means you need to tell your story and receive validation for your experiences.

6. It means you usually eat alone and isolate yourself.

If this sounds like you then reach out for help.  Don’t be afraid, recovery comes in small baby steps….

Ilissa Banhazl, Marriage and Family Therapy, Glendora

626-335-0903

ilissa@ilissabanhazlmft.com

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